Living with chronic pain involves moments that can suddenly throw you backward. I don’t know about you, but the initial shock of realizing that things are regressing can send my emotions into turmoil. I find myself wondering why—despite all the hard work I’ve done—I now have to face yet another setback and somehow rise above the new challenges it brings. You work so hard, do everything possible to create some quality of life, and then a monkey wrench gets thrown into all that effort. It feels incredibly unfair and makes it hard to feel hopeful again.

When a setback first hits, I fall into sadness, fear, and uncertainty, and once again dwell on all the losses I’ve had to endure. Then I get mad at myself—feeling selfish or immature for reacting this way. But I’m human, and I have to remind myself: it’s okay to mourn these losses, as long as I don’t stay stuck in that space for too long. At some point, we face a choice: will we let this new challenge consume us, or will we find the strength to rise above it?

I work hard—both emotionally and physically—to address whatever the setback may be. Eventually, the drive to improve the situation begins to outweigh the frustration of feeling stuck, let down, and sorry for myself. Still, with each new setback, I must remind myself to breathe, calm down, not give up, and keep moving toward a life of hope, purpose, and meaning.

Living with chronic pain is demanding. It requires daily effort, and discouragement and frustration often tag along on the journey. But may you find the courage and determination to keep going—one step at a time—as you take on each new challenge. You’re not alone in the frustration and heartbreak. So remind yourself: we only get one life. Try not to let your condition steal the good that still exists in your world, even amid the struggle.

May life be kind to you…

—by Ellen Lenox Smith

About the Author:

Ellen Lenox Smith has emerged as a leading voice for patients living with pain. Currently, Ellen serves as Co-Director of Medical Cannabis Advocacy for the U.S. Pain Foundation and is a member of its Board of Directors. She is also active with the EDS RI support group.

Prior to patient advocacy, Ellen was a longtime middle school social studies teacher. She has been married for 53 years and is the proud mother of four adult children and grandmother to five grandchildren. She also is the author of two books, an organic gardener, and was previously a master swimmer and high school swim coach.