When you live with chronic pain or illness, coping isn’t just a strategy—it’s a survival skill. Whether you’re flaring on the couch or masking your pain in a doctor’s office (again), you’re constantly reaching for tools that help you make sense of the chaos happening in your body. One underrated—but powerful—coping mechanism is labeling. And no, we don’t mean slapping a diagnosis on every twitch or twinge. We mean getting really specific with your internal experience and using language to regain a sense of calm and control.

Psychologists often use the phrase “Name It to Tame It”—a concept popularized by Dr. Dan Siegel—to describe how identifying an emotion with a specific word can help regulate the nervous system. Instead of spiraling in a vague cloud of “I feel bad,” pinpointing “I feel frustrated,” or “I feel helpless,” or “I feel grief” actually helps the brain process that experience. The amygdala (your brain’s emotion alarm system) quiets down once the prefrontal cortex (your logic center) steps in to label the feeling. It’s a neuroscience-backed form of emotional self-care.

So here’s a chronic pain twist on that same idea—especially useful when it comes to the often-maddening experience of pain.

We Call It: Rate It to Regain It

Let’s be real: when you live in a body that hurts daily, “How much pain are you in?” becomes a loaded question. Maybe your 6 is someone else’s 10. Maybe you’ve never even been at a 0. Maybe your pain is so ever-present that it’s hard to find language for it at all. That’s where this technique comes in—not as a scale for others, but as a personal checkpoint to tune into your body with clarity and compassion.

But what is a 7, anyway?

Here’s the problem: that 1-to-10 scale we’re all asked to use? It’s subjective, vague, and changes depending on context. A 5 in your body might be someone else’s 9. And even your own 5 might mean something different from week to week depending on sleep, stress, or even the weather.

So what if you added a layer of meaning? Alongside your number, give it a color, a weather report, or even a metaphor.

For example:
– “I’m at a 3 today. Feels like a cloudy day with occasional sun.”
– “It’s a 7. Heavy thunderstorm. I need to cancel everything and rest.”
– “Only a 2. Slight breeze. Feels almost normal.”

These descriptions give context, nuance, and personal meaning to the numbers. They help you compare today’s pain to other days, without judgment. A “stormy 8” might feel overwhelming, but remembering that last week you had a “tornado-level 10” may bring you a moment of relief and self-compassion. On brighter days, you’ll have a record of what it feels like to be okay—your version of sunshine—and that can become your motivation to get through the next downpour.

This also helps you respond with more precision.
When your internal weather app reads “light drizzle,” maybe all you need is a nap and an extra layer. If it’s “blizzard-level migraine and body-wide burning,” that’s the day you reach for your flare plan. Labeling lets you move from overwhelmed to intentional.

The Method: How to Rate It to Regain It

When you’re in pain (physical, emotional, or both), stop and ask:
1. What am I feeling?
  → Try to put an emotional label on it. Sad? Scared? Angry? Disconnected? Overwhelmed?

2. What number would I give it?
  → On a scale of 0–10, rate the intensity of that pain—physical or emotional.

3. What does it feel like?
  → Assign it a weather report, a color, a movie title—anything that helps you describe your experience in a way you understand.

Why It Works

When you pause to rate and label your experience, you shift from helpless victim of your symptoms to curious observer. You create space between you and your pain. This moment of mindful identification doesn’t erase the pain—but it softens your reaction to it. It gives you a starting point.

You can then ask:
– What do I need at a 7 that I don’t need at a 3?
– If today is “stormy,” how can I create shelter?
– If this is a “cloudy 4,” is there room for something joyful?

Over time, this method builds emotional intelligence, body awareness, and most importantly—self-compassion.

Track the Weather of Your Body

If this feels useful, try keeping a journal, a mood tracker, or even a simple calendar where you jot your number + your weather. A week might look like:
– Monday: 6 – Cold drizzle. Took pain meds early.
– Tuesday: 8 – Hailstorm. Cancelled plans.
– Wednesday: 4 – Breezy. Managed errands.
– Thursday: 3 – Sun peeking out. Actually smiled.

It becomes a narrative. A pattern. And proof that no storm lasts forever.

In Summary

– Name the emotion to tame the panic.
– Rate the pain to regain your grounding.
– Forecast the moment to find your footing.

It’s not about “fixing” yourself. It’s about listening to yourself. That moment of noticing—of checking in and labeling—is an act of self-respect in a world that often ignores what you feel.

And if someone asks what you’re doing next time you pause and think, I’m a 5 today, partly cloudy, just tell them: “I’m not spiraling—I’m regulating. I’m Rating it to Regain it.”

—by Christie Cox

About the Author

Christie Cox spent decades navigating undiagnosed health challenges before finally receiving a diagnosis of Ehlers-Danlos syndrome at age 48. Since then, she’s transformed disbelief into determination—devoting her energy to supporting others with chronic conditions. Christie also is a trained peer facilitator for the U.S. Pain Foundation’s mindfulness meditation support group.

Explore her free resources and advocacy work at journey2joyous.com.